About 2 years ago, I found out that I was part of some toxic friendships. People that I thought loved me, appreciated me and understood me, sat me down in my own home and told me that they not only didn’t enjoy my company anymore, but they also didn’t know why. People who I had trusted and loved decided that I wasn’t good enough for them.
I’m not kidding. They literally sat me down in my own living room, and proceeded to tell me why they didn’t want to hang out anymore, and didn’t want me to “waste my time” asking them to. One of them then said we can ‘try’ to hang out so she could see if she could come up with a reason she didn’t enjoy it, so we could ‘work on it’. Clearly, I did not take her up on that.
Now, it’s taken me awhile to come to terms with this fact, but I am so thankful that this happened. At the time I reacted as any normal human being would, with complete anger and confusion. I couldn’t understand how these people who I had been so close with could betray me like they did. These people thought that it would be best to sit me down, by myself, and tell me I was not worthy of their friendship. So naturally, I called Chris (my boyfriend) and my sister. They fought for me like I had no idea they would, and kicked these individuals out of my house. I will always love them even more for that moment.
I had a lot of inner turmoil after this. Why had I not been good enough for them? Was there something wrong with me? It never occurred to me that this was their mistake until I texted my best friends, Jess, Tamara and my girls from IU. They all reassured me that 1) these individuals were idiots and if my friends saw them they better run and 2) I am an awesome person and it was their loss. I am forever grateful for their encouragement, and continued support throughout my life. Thanks for being the best humans imaginable.
Though this experience is not one many people can relate to, we can all relate to having toxic relationships. My situation was exacerbated by the blindside nature, but I am grateful that I now understand who my true allies are. Without this incident, I would be wasting my time on insignificant people, and not as truly appreciative of my best friends as I am now. So, if you find yourself in a toxic relationship, start to drift. I promise this is better on everyone, because sitting someone down and telling them why you think they’re not worth your time is CRUEL. I’m glad I rid myself of these people, but it was definitely a tough experience.
Sometimes, friendships just drift apart. And that’s ok, but if they do for meaningless reasons like space and time- reach out. If they do because they’re toxic, let that one slide.
So, here’s a special shout out to all the people who love me; thanks for being the best, supportive group of weirdos I am lucky to call my friends. If we haven’t been in touch for awhile, but you want to reconnect, now is as good a time as any to try. If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t, but we have all grown and changed and I now pride myself on having positive relationships. Here’s to ridding myself of the bad, and always promoting the good.